Well, it is not fun asking and repeating yourself over the same thing. It does not only drives you nuts, but it also drives your partner nuts too!
Learn how to break the cycle of nagging.
So, how do you break the cycle of nagging? It is not as complicated as it might seem. It's all about being able to communicate and adjusting your expectations.
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Here are 6 easy steps to stop nagging and learn how to open a healthier conversation with your spouse.
1. Watch Your Words
It's very natural that you feel very agitated when you feel as though you are doing all the things around the house. But take moment and think how do tell your partner that?
How you think you’re saying things: “Honey, I would really appreciate it if you did the dishes while I’m at work.”
How you’re actually saying things: “How are you so oblivious that you don’t even see those dishes piling up while I’m at work?”
As you can see, your words and the way you make requests of your spouse matter. Instead of making them feel guilty or belittled, phrase it in a way that makes them feel good.
2. Don’t Believe in Mind Reading
Mind-reading is full of BULLS**T! Both men and women have this terrible notion that their spouse should know better or know them so well that they can understand what are their needs. This is a cute thought but rarely is it ever true.
Any marriage therapist will tell you that your spouse cannot read your mind (unless you are She-ra). If you need something from them, you need to learn to ask for it.
Not only does this save your spouse from playing a guessing game, but it also saves you a lot of frustration.
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3. Make It a Shared Decision
Get your partner involved in problem-solving or decision making. You should not do it on your own, you are partners, not parents to one another.\
The keys to great problem-solving are empathy, communication, and listening to each other.
4. Take a Marriage Course
The need to nag comes down to a fundamental lack of communication in a relationship. When both partners are open and honest about their needs, conversation flows, and partners look for ways to help each other out – instead of being told to do so.
Instead of seeing a marriage therapist, why not take a marriage course?
There are plenty of courses designed to help couples understand each other better including setting shared goals as a couple, building compassion and empathy, mastering the art of communication, intimacy, and making and sharing traditions.
5. Get Your Partner to Hear You
The best way to get your partners to listen to you is to get them to see things from your perspectives while relating to something they can understand.
One stay-at-home mom and homemaker worked hard to keep her house neat and tidy, but her construction worker husband would come home and walk through the freshly mopped hardwood floors with his dusty work boots on. She asked him to take his boots off repeatedly, but he could never seem to follow through.
One day she said to him, “Keeping the house clean is my job, just like doing drywall is your job. When you come home and walk through the house with your boots on after I just finished cleaning it, it’s as if I came to your construction site and ripped down the drywall you put up that day. Do you see how I could find this to be frustrating?”
The wife used an example the husband could understand, and so he became more empathetic to her desires.
6. Do It Yourself, If Possible
Well, to decrease the stress you have to put yourself through from nagging, weigh in whether it's worth taking the task into your own hands.
Of course, it will be awesome if your partner takes out the trash or wash the dishes, but ask yourself, is it worth starting Wolrd War III?
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Final Thoughts
If you want to break the cycle of nagging, both of you need to learn how to rephrase your requests. Speak respectfully and work on building empathy in your relationship.
Communication is key to any relationship, and it’s especially more important for partners. Sometimes, a person may feel like they’re communicating properly, unaware that their partner is already hearing them nagging. These 6 tips will help you stop nagging and communicate better with your partner.
Read next: Signs You Are A Nagger & It is Slowly Killing Your Relationship
Source: Lifehacks.org
